Do you create healthy boundaries with those around you?
If you’re not sure, then let me ask this:
Do you do any of the following?
Repeatedly reduce your rates.
Say ‘yes’ and then instantly regret it.
Filter how you feel for fear of offending or upsetting people.
Give too much to clients.
Agree to do things you don’t have the time, money or desire to do.
Accept negative and abusive behaviour.
Feel others take you for granted.
If any of these resonate, then know that you are not alone!
I feel a story coming on…
The last few weeks have been a little testing. After weeks without heating and hot water, I found myself navigating a number of challenging people.
Over dinner, out of nowhere, my 10 year old daughter turned to me and stated:
“Life Lesson Number 1: Don’t mess with Mummy!”
Now as much as the random image of me as a badass Mummy Ninja literally made me laugh out loud, a part of me was secretly quite proud.
You see, it’s taken a long time to get from Chief People Pleaser to a place where I consciously and consistently set firm and healthy boundaries with those around me.
Unhealthy boundaries are born in childhood and are often the result of a desire to feel more loved, to gain more attention or as a need to be ‘compliant’ and please those around in order to ‘keep the peace.’
It is intrinsically linked to our own self-worth.
Therefore the path to transforming it has to start there.
With patience, perseverance and self-care.
Learning to speak your truth with integrity and create an abundant and happy environment in which to live, is surely the greatest gift we can give ourselves…and one we all deserve.
It is also one of the most important skills required to run a business efficiently.
Learning when to say ‘No,’ is often the difference between running a fabulous hobby and an abundant enterprise.
5 Steps to Healthy Boundaries:
From People Pleaser to Success Ninja
1. Be Your Best Cheerleader.
It starts with you. Every day write down one thing that you like about yourself or that you’re proud of.
Every week, schedule into your diary, one thing that is exclusively for you. Make it totally non-negotiable. Cancel it for no-one!
3. Identify Energy Drains.
Who you surround yourself with has a huge impact on your ability to succeed in any area of your life.
Is there someone who drains your energy? Maybe a friend who only talks about themselves or moans constantly? Maybe a family member or client who is over-demanding of your time?
Make a list of the top 3 energy drainers and then think about how you could limit their impact on you. It might mean less contact, having a conversation or even cutting ties altogether.
4. Create a Contract with Yourself.
When we desire to transform anything, it’s helpful to begin with small, achievable steps.
Choose ONE area to transform. Are you tired of giving discounts? Of giving clients too much? Cleaning up after everyone? Doing the school run for your street?!
1. Choose an area that you HAVE to change.
2. Make a realistic contractual agreement with yourself on paper.
e.g. I will not discount my prices this month.
3. Put it somewhere you will see every day. Repeat it. Stick to it!
5. Practice saying NO!
Quantum leaps are only possible when you learn to say “NO!”
To work commitments that lead away from your goals.
To people and things that drain your energy.
To situations that don’t bring you joy.
What or who are you going to say ‘No’ to this week?
You are so very worthy and deserving of everything you desire.
So embrace your inner Success Ninja!!
Wishing you a fabulous, successful and positive week.
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